5 Things I Learned From My Wedding Day
Rustic wedding at MeadowBrook Farm Bed and Breakfast, Suffolk
Tianna Yentzer, Trulyty.com
I got married this past Saturday at MeadowBrook Farm Bed and Breakfast in Suffolk. The whole day was magical. The weather was absolutely perfect, the venue was beautiful, everything flowed even more smoothly than I could have hoped it would. I was truly blown away by the work my friends and family put into making the day my dream wedding for me. I even teared up once! (That’s a big deal for me. I’m not a cryer.) I loved every moment of my day, and I learned a few important lessons I want to share with anyone in the planning stages of a wedding or anyone thinking ahead about their future wedding. Here are the five major lessons I learned from my wedding day.
1. You can’t please everybody. No matter what you do, someone is going to be offended. If you make a seating chart, someone will be miffed that you stuck them in the back with people they don’t know. If you don’t do a seating chart, somebody’s going to be upset that you could dare be so unthoughtful. Someone will hate the food. Someone will be allergic to the cake. Whatever, you just can’t win with everyone—and that’s OK! It’s your wedding. At the end of the day, you’re the one who will look back on these memories forever, and you want them to be good ones. Don’t waste time worrying about what everyone else’s opinions of your day were.
2. You can’t make everyone feel special. If you’re like me and you had the population of a small island in attendance, it’s impossible to make it personal for every single guest. You might be able to say hi to everyone; you might not. The day is going to fly fast—so fast that you might not even get to try the Hawaiian meatball appetizer (thanks a lot, people), so don’t freak out if you can’t spend five minutes chatting up every guest. Do your best to make your rounds, but don’t get so caught up in it that you miss your day. Write everyone a sincere thank you card to let them know you appreciated them being there. The people who really care about you will understand.
3. You’re going to forget things. The photographer will ask you if you want any more photos of specific things. You’re going to forget, and in a few days you’re going to sigh and remember you wanted that one shot of all the bridesmaids seeing you in your dress for the first time or that goofy picture with the groomsmen. You’re going to forget how to move your feet during the first dance. Remember that hilarious thing you planned to do when you got announced at the reception? No you don’t because you forgot it. It’s OK! So much of the wedding is, as my new husband keeps saying, just a show for other people. Cutting the cake, the first dance, throwing the bouquet—all part of the show. Sure, it’s fun, people expect it and you can’t really do a wedding without that stuff, but don’t freak out about remembering specifics. If you’re having the time of your life, then it doesn’t matter if you forget a few little details.
4. On that same note, however—make sure you have people whose job is to remember stuff for you! Make sure your photographer knows what you want ahead of time. Get together with your coordinators to ensure they have the timeline down so you don’t have to even think about it. Ensure that all those people have each other’s phone numbers so they can figure things out among themselves. Do the work beforehand so you aren’t disappointed the day of. (Shout out to my coordinators, planners, DJ, musician, caterer, wedding party, photographer and videographer—this “lesson” is coming from a place of positivity for me. I am so lucky my team was on the ball! You all are amazing).
5. Start the day early and don’t rush anything. I’m super fortunate to have found a venue that allowed us to essentially spend all week preparing. We set up our reception seating on Thursday and did 70% of the decorating before Saturday. I can’t even begin to explain how much of a relief that was. Saturday morning I got up early, set up a few things, gave some last-minute instructions to the people helping me, and by 11 a.m. I was done working. I got my hair and makeup done in plenty of time, we started taking pictures by 2:30, and 15 minutes before the wedding (at 4 p.m.), we were all just relaxing in the house and waiting for our cue. If you are still in the planning stages of your wedding, I strongly recommend finding a venue that won’t rush you. Some places give you something like exactly eight hours to set up, have the party and then clean up. If you have a ton of people who are going to help you get it all set up and torn down quickly, it’s fine. However, finding a place that gives you a lot of flexibility will take some serious pressure off of you and those helping.
I hope this has been helpful for you brides in your planning stages! I wish you all the very best as you get ready for your special day. If you have questions or want information on any of the vendors I used, feel free to leave me a message in the comments.