How to Respond to Rude Questions Following the Engagement
Responding To Rude Questions Following Your Engagement
Since the proposal, you’ve been completely wrapped up in being in love, starting to plan for the big day and constantly looking down to admire that gorgeous new ring on your finger. Nothing can burst your bubble of newly-engaged bliss like an inappropriate question or comment from one of your well-meaning (or just plain rude) friends or family members. These questions can put you in defense mode, make you feel uncomfortable and hurt your feelings—the total opposite of what you should be experiencing during this exciting time. Not to worry; you’ll be ready with a comeback and able to swiftly move back into your euphoric mindset after reading these polite responses to impolite comments that may arise.
How much did the ring cost?
What you want to say: How much would it cost for you to buy some manners and stay out of our business?
What you can get away with saying: Isn’t it beautiful? He knows my taste so well. Then walk away.
Who’s paying for the wedding?
What you want to say: Well, since you feel the need to be so involved, why don’t you pay for it?
What you can get away with saying: Laugh it off and say: We’re accepting donations!
I’d better get an invitation!
What you want to say: You’d better make other plans that day!
What you can get away with saying (if they’re not invited): Unfortunately, we’ve decided on a small, intimate celebration, but we’re so honored that you’d want to attend.
When are you going to start having babies?
What you want to say: Not for awhile, but please, let me fill you in on all the sex we’ve been having.
What you can get away with saying: When the time is right.
It seems a little soon to be engaged already. How long have you been dating?
What you want to say: You seem a little rude. How long since you lost your tact?
What you can get away with saying: We both knew that the time was right and are excited to begin this new chapter together.
Uh oh; Bridezilla on the loose!
What you want to say: Aaaarrrgggghhhhhh (as you lunge through the air, arms stretched, hands grasped, ready to choke commenter).
What you can get away with saying (if you really aren’t being a Bridezilla): Planning a wedding requires a lot of work and thought, and it does get stressful. Please don’t mistake my assertiveness for disrespect.
Why don’t you just save everyone the trouble by eloping?
What you want to say: Why don’t you shut your face?
What you can get away with saying: We wouldn’t miss the opportunity to celebrate this exciting time with our nearest and dearest.
What’s the point? You’re already living together.
What you want to say: True, we are having loads of fun living in sin, but who wants to miss out on the chance to have a huge party and get a bunch of gifts?
What you can get away with saying: We feel that we deserve to have a wedding as much as anyone else.
Why are you planning everything so soon? Is it a shotgun wedding?
What you want to say: Are you implying that I’m pregnant? (raising your voice 100 decibels) Are you implying that I’ve gained weight?!
What you can get away with saying: We’re just excited about starting our new life together.
I thought you would have chosen me as one of your bridesmaids.
What you want to say: You thought wrong.
What you can get away with saying: Your friendship means a lot to me; however, we are going with a small wedding party and couldn’t include everyone we wanted to. I still look forward to celebrating with you on the big day!